While Woodstock school has shown me lots of ups and downs since I arrived, I am finding myself becoming more satisfied each day. Since my arrival, I had plenty of, "what am I doing here?" moments. I didn't expect to adjust over night to living in India, but I think I pictured a much more dynamic and fulfilling life here.
I would never admit to be anything less than happy here because I know so many people thought coming here was crazy or just plain stupid. Maybe it was, but it's still too soon to say. I have a new emotion every hour about this place. Will I stay three years? Will I make it through the semester? Would I like a different job in the school more than my current one? Should I move to Thailand and get a real salary? Maybe America is calling me home?
I knew I'd miss my family and friends, sure. I just hoped that I would find such happiness here that I wouldn't be brought down by it. The trouble is that whenever I find myself struggling with adjusting, I think about my family. This creates a landslide of emotion. Now, I'm not just sad about the situation of my life, but I'm missing the people I love too.
What this place lacks in terms of making me truly happy is undetermined. I've talked about this up, down, in, out, and all around with Katie. There's just something that's not here that we had before. Perhaps, it's the stress of our first year teaching in a new country at a school unlike any school we have ever worked in or seen in action. Maybe it's the lack of freedom you feel in a country where you have to rely so heavily on others. It could be the suffocating environment of a boarding school in the mountains of India. We might be discovering that teaching isn't really our calling after all. Missing our families could be weighing us down so heavily that we can't make new families here. Maybe India isn't all we cracked it up to be...
I would never admit to be anything less than happy here because I know so many people thought coming here was crazy or just plain stupid. Maybe it was, but it's still too soon to say. I have a new emotion every hour about this place. Will I stay three years? Will I make it through the semester? Would I like a different job in the school more than my current one? Should I move to Thailand and get a real salary? Maybe America is calling me home?
I knew I'd miss my family and friends, sure. I just hoped that I would find such happiness here that I wouldn't be brought down by it. The trouble is that whenever I find myself struggling with adjusting, I think about my family. This creates a landslide of emotion. Now, I'm not just sad about the situation of my life, but I'm missing the people I love too.
What this place lacks in terms of making me truly happy is undetermined. I've talked about this up, down, in, out, and all around with Katie. There's just something that's not here that we had before. Perhaps, it's the stress of our first year teaching in a new country at a school unlike any school we have ever worked in or seen in action. Maybe it's the lack of freedom you feel in a country where you have to rely so heavily on others. It could be the suffocating environment of a boarding school in the mountains of India. We might be discovering that teaching isn't really our calling after all. Missing our families could be weighing us down so heavily that we can't make new families here. Maybe India isn't all we cracked it up to be...
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