Two Word Jobs

"Well a simple kinda life never did me no harm
A raisin' me a family and workin' on a farm
My days are all filled with an easy country charm
Thank God I'm a country boy."


Sometimes when I try to describe growing up on a farm to non-farmers, I can't help but laugh. Just like describing India to someone who has never been, it doesn't make any sense.

One of the best ways to make a buck growing up was "picking rocks". If you think life is rough, try wandering around acres of black dirt picking up rocks. I have vivid memories of working with my neighbor and dear friend, Rose, on a Saturday morning. We were covered head to toe in smudges of dirt and discussing the latest gossip from the 7th/8th grade dance the night before. Just like a scene out of Gossip Girl... except instead of the Upper East Side... we were in the middle of a field in Minnesota. We'd make a lot more memories in black dirt fields throughout our lives. We even made a song about picking rocks, but I won't bore you with the lyrics about rocks and picking them.

Life on the farm is full of other strange sounding two word jobs. Here are some more to let your imagination wander: picking rocks, cleaning pens, milking cows, feeding calves, shelling corn, picking corn, unloading hay, stacking hay, loading beans, scraping mangers, washing milkers, spreading hay, feeding hay, feeding corn, raking hay, washing pipeline, baling hay, sweeping wagons, greasing wagons, filling water, chasing cows, cutting hay, trimming fence, and the list goes on...

I only feel sorry for those who have never had the wonderful opportunity to experience two word jobs.

Snow.

Mother Nature is certainly proving herself this semester in Mussoorie. Snow, rain storms, and more snow.

I came back to Mussoorie near the end of January. The view from my front yard was better than ever.

Unfortunately, I could barely walk up the sidewalk to my house because it was so slippery. Imagine me carrying a huge backpack, numerous bags in my hand, and wearing my hand made boots with no grips trying to shuffle my way to the front door.

Imagine a world with no snow shovels. Sloppy.

The cold weather resulted in the official welcoming of the fireplace. The only trouble is that you have to sit this close to feel warm. (photo pre-90's party)

It's still hard to complain when I look out my window and see this!

Another snow storm popped in a couple days ago causing my power to go out for somewhere around 14 hours. It didn't stop me from taking a pathetic run around the chukkar.

Need a ride?

Delhi Transportation Options:

You could ride with this guy, but he's listening to an ipod and clearly distracted.

Don't ride with that guy.

It might be safer to walk like these bums.

Or perhaps you'd like an electric auto?

Maybe you'd like to ride on the bus?

They also offer buses in green and orange.

You could hitch a ride like these kids^

There's always a car.

Hop on that couch being pulled by a bike. Take a load off!

Family bonding trip.

Every week is bike week.

Similar to the short bus.

Travel back in time.

"Maxi Cab"

Pedal Power.

Hop on the metro.

Or just bring your horse.

Christmas in India.

People celebrate Christmas in India. There are several of the wonderful traditions many people know and love. Many restaurants and shops will play horrible Christmas songs. Shopping malls will have decorations. You might even find a santa. However, the santa will not be a jolly old man at the mall. He might be a small child wearing a frightening white person santa mask while dancing in the street trying to make some money in Kerala. Or, it might look like this:

We also had a post Christmas celebration which included: hats, white elephant gifts, a very expensive turkey, and s'mores.

Elves scurrying about the kitchen.

The North Pole is cold.

Would you like some more s'more?

Bird.

Papa Elf instructing the younger elves.

The feast with some unintentional fireworks from the fire.

You can hear the music on the AM radio.

Explaining India to people who have never been to India is like explaining America to someone who has never been to America. How am I supposed to explain kolaches, fresh air, and personal space?

Sure, there are movies. Slumdog Millionaire. That almost made India seem fun. Despite all the tragedy, there will be a breakout group dance at the end of the day. Even worse, what if you watch Jersey Shore in India? America is full of struggling guidos with disproportionate body sizes and drinking problems.

In my previous life, I drove or rode in a car nearly every day. Now, the chances are few and far between. In Mussoorie, the only cars I ride in are "taxis" or sketchy vans that your parents would always advise you to never get in. The kidnapper vans take me from the bazaar to the high altitude of my home for around $2.40. In Delhi, the only taxi we usually ride in is to/from the airport or train station, if it's very early or very late. Otherwise, we depend on our feet, auto rickshaws, the metro, or a motorcycle.


Yesterday, I got to ride in a friend's car around Delhi. We drove around for the whole day, listened to the radio, and enjoyed a warm cozy ride. It was like I had been transported to another place and time. Sure, it was the same Delhi on the outside of the car: honking horns, pedestrians anywhere but the crosswalk, bikes hauling cargo bigger than the car I am sitting in, merging and turning without procedure. Inside the car, I was home. I didn't even care what was on the radio. I just wanted radio. 

Getting Run Over in Delhi

When I first arrived in India, we took a short tour around Delhi and Old Delhi with some Woodstock tour guides. It was only a couple hours into our adventure for me to realize how things worked around here. I was leaping across traffic like Frogger. I reached the other side, turned and saw my companions got stuck halfway and were waiting at the median. In another second, motorbikes and scooters were swerving around me at full speed. It took me way too long to realize that I was standing in what appeared to be a bike lane, but was in fact, where Everyone drives. I probably looked like a patient who escaped from the nearest asylum as I turned every direction trying to find safety.

Which brings me to my point: I always feel like I'm about to get run over in Delhi. This feeling is not limited to cars, buses, riskshaws, or other vehicles, but it also includes people. There is something about a crowd of Indians that makes me feel like a stampede could break at any second, and I would be the only one who wasn't trained for the event.

A great example of the people stampeding is riding the Delhi metro during peak hours. Depending on the station and time, it is possible that there are guards that actually keep the people in neat lines and try to prevent previously mentioned threat of stampede. Other times, there are no guards, and it is every person for themselves. No one is spared. Old women will do nothing short of elbowing their way to the train. It's not one of those rushes that has no purpose however. It is possible that the train will get too full, and you won't fit. Put up your elbows.

As for the threat of moving vehicles as opposed to people, it's everywhere. I could be walking on a near deserted alley and hear the honking of a car blaring as it drives straight at me. I used to think they just did it for fun, to freak me out because I'm used to traffic lanes and stuff, but it seems like no one is spared. The sidewalk is hardly safe either. It's best just to hope and pray that what seems like the driving of a drunk 15-year-old due to the speed, swerving, and honking is actually a seasoned driver of the streets of Delhi.

Kerala: Buckets of beef, beach, and bliss.

The start of winter vacation sent us South to Kerala.

Before we left I had to send a small package to America. When I saw these mailmen traveling via bicycle, I was sure the package would reach American in a timely fashion.

Speedy Delivery.

Finally, a senior citizen advantage for India.

First sea views of vacation in Fort Cochin.

Santa Cruz Church-Fort Cochin (older than dirt)

Crazy Tourist eating coconut.

Chinese Fishing nets

Taking the ferry.

Laughter following an enormous sushi feast in Cochin.

Alleppey

Backwaters boat ride in Alleppey.

First sights of "fishing" in Kovalam.

Beef Burger

Pineapple stand.

Chai on wheels.

Seaside room.

Ha ha.

A confused tourist.

Apparently Kovalum is a honeymoon destination. It was peak season.